


Underneath the Stars

by gamerfic



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic (Video Games)
Genre: F/F, Jedi Code, No Dialogue, Pre-Canon, Stargazing, Wistful
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-09-10
Packaged: 2018-12-25 11:50:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12035289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gamerfic/pseuds/gamerfic
Summary: Belaya knows this night won't last forever.





	Underneath the Stars

**Author's Note:**

  * For [weakinteraction](https://archiveofourown.org/users/weakinteraction/gifts).



Night falls slow and lingering over the Jedi Enclave on Dantooine. As Belaya emerges from her evening meditations, her senses awaken and spiral outward into the world she so often ignores. Padawans are ordinarily kept busy by design, each hour from sunrise to sunset tightly packed with study and training and chores. To afford them too much autonomy too early in their training might undermine their growth. It is only now, at the end of each day, that they are allowed any liberty of thought or activity. These few hours of freedom are precious when they come, and Belaya knows just how she wants to spend them.

With a scratchy woolen blanket tucked under one arm, Belaya walks purposefully out of her dormitory block. No one seems to care where she is going. The most dedicated padawans remain within their meditative trances or continue to study the day's lessons or drill their lightsaber forms over and over. Others wash their robes, tidy their living spaces, read books or watch holovids on their hand terminals while sprawled across their beds, play pazaak using pebbles and bolts for ante, or chat idly amongst themselves. If any of them notice her departure, they don't find it worthy of comment.

For the most part, the Jedi Enclave goes to sleep early. The masters and the local staff have already retired to their homes for the evening. Only droids bustle through the halls now, scrubbing floors and restocking supplies and making repairs, never deigning to stop their work to pay attention to organic beings. Belaya strides into the courtyard and passes beneath the great tree planted there, its broad branches black against the orange and violet sunset. The night wind blows softly through its leaves like a whispered promise. She is careful to keep her face expressionless as she increases her pace, fighting as always to conceal her true emotions.

Juhani waits at the end of the corridor that leads outside, clutching a blanket of her own and worrying its edge between two clawed fingertips. Belaya's pulse quickens at the sight of her. Lit by the hazy glow of the solar lamps on the walls, she is golden and soft around the edges like the memory of captured sunlight. Her posture is still stiff and self-controlled, but something in the rigid harshness of her spine relaxes when she sees Belaya, and she returns the same slight smile that Belaya can no longer hide.

Neither of them speaks as they stand beside each other, waiting for the protocol droid to open the exterior door. They don't have to. They know exactly what will happen next. The droid probably does too, and is even now recording their temporary departure from the Enclave in its memory banks. There's no sense in keeping any of it a secret. If their masters cared about their padawans' brief absences, they would have said something about it already. They are not the first students to slip away together like this, and they will certainly not be the last.

The heavy door slides slowly open, and Juhani leads Belaya out into the darkened plains of Dantooine. The tall, rustling savanna grasses conceal any evidence of their passage, but the path they tread is well-worn in their memories. Kath hounds bellow in the distance, and to the west blaze the fires of a Mandalorian scout camp, but neither of them is afraid. They have learned to tread lightly on the surface of this world, taking what they need without attracting unwanted attention. So they skirt around any dangers they might sense and trudge steadily upwards, unconcerned by their surroundings for the moment.

By the time they reach the top of the hill, the sun has set and the world around them has gone black. Juhani spreads her blanket out on the ground, and Belaya does the same. They lie beside each other amidst the bent-over grass, staring up into the heavens as the stars come out one by one. Both of them hail from heavily urbanized planets where the ambient glow of buildings and streetlamps washes out the night sky, making it easy to pretend there is nothing larger than their cities in the galaxy. When they first came to the Jedi Enclave on undeveloped, barely inhabited Dantooine, they shared the same unforgettable moment of shock and wonder when they first looked up at the once-hidden stars and discovered that the universe was so much bigger than they ever could have dreamed. 

Belaya doesn't remember exactly how or when this ritual of stargazing started. It must have been some idle evening early in her training, when both she and Juhani felt restless and lonely and eager to recreate that thrill of discovery. Or maybe they both just wanted a friend to wander away with for a while. Regardless, it has become a cherished tradition. She inhales the scent of plant life and fertile soil and feels the weight of the planet beneath her, a comforting anchor in a starry sea. Here and now, she understands what it means to be connected to all things through the Force more than she ever has in any Jedi Master's classroom.

Spontaneously, Belaya reaches out and takes Juhani's hand in hers, feeling the soft warmth of its short fur against her own palm. Juhani's fingers interweave with Belaya's, and Belaya relaxes even further at the comforting weight of Juhani's touch. The Jedi Code may proscribe attachments, but the masters have said little or nothing about Juhani and Belaya's growing closeness. They must understand, as Belaya does, that the Jedi can no sooner avoid all connections with others than they can cut themselves off from the web of the Force completely. Otherwise, how could comrades fight alongside each other, or padawans trust their masters? The trick is to make sure such bonds remain a source of strength for the Jedi involved, and never an enticement to the dark side. _And that's what we have,_ thinks Belaya. _Isn't it?_

Indeed, even now Juhani is edging closer to Belaya, pressing against her, running the fingers of her free hand through Belaya's long, loose brown hair. Often when they stargaze they don't do anything more than talk, discussing the day's lessons or gossiping about other padawans or exchanging stories of the past (that is, when Juhani doesn't find such memories too painful). Belaya can tell they will say little tonight. Juhani's face looms above hers, temporarily blotting out the stars, and Belaya rises up to meet her kiss with hungry and grateful lips. The wind chills her skin where Juhani's hands inexorably expose it, but her closeness warms it again before Belaya has a chance to complain about the cold.

Belaya knows this night won't last forever. Nor will what she and Juhani share. Sex between Jedi is acceptable, but lasting bonds are not. When their training is over they will be undoubtedly be separated and sent to far-flung postings lest their feelings endanger them. To defy the Council's edicts in such a matter would be to risk falling to the dark side. At least that's what Juhani believes. Juhani speaks of the dark side as if it is a predator running her down, a danger more immediate and vital than anything Belaya has ever experienced - as if the Jedi Code is the only thing that can save her from its slavering jaws. So Belaya would never ask Juhani to do anything to jeopardize her place among the Jedi. Belaya herself isn't sure whether she would choose the Jedi over Juhani, if she were ever made to choose.

As their kisses deepen, Belaya distantly remembers how she and Juhani spent one of their first nights together tracing new constellations, binding the nameless stars together with stories only they would ever share. Since then, they've continued to make the best of everything else they've faced. Belaya doesn't know what kind of future she and Juhani might have, but for now it doesn't have to matter. She will take what she is given and let it strengthen her to face another dawn. She hopes Juhani can do the same. After all, the night sky doesn't go away just because the sun rises. In the same way, the memory of the spark Belaya and Juhani light in the darkness will always glow, as true and as reliable as the stars above their heads.


End file.
